Lucky Deaths - Playing Goblins in a Funhouse Dungeon
CW: Suicide, gore
I picked up Magical Murder Mansion a while ago - a great example of a Funhouse Dungeon - and was busting to play it and send some unlucky peasants to their dooms.
But all I had was a new group, and only time for a one-shot. The plan was to run the dungeon in Cairn to keep things swift. The drawback was that with high lethality, I didn't want the players creeping around playing it safe in our short allotted time. I wanted them to be poking and prodding things, to swiftly feel the kiss of a spinning blade or the hiss of acid. Like a funnel, but with less pressure and more glee.
Magical Murder Mansions by Skerples
The solution was to make them goblins. Nobody feels bad when a goblin dies. In this game, goblins could be dungeon lemmings - now they could feel empowered to see what the various crazy traps did with abandon.
Goblin Rules
For goblins, life is cheap - a coin to be spent or flipped or tossed into a fountain. The only regret a goblin feels when dying is if the act is met with temerity. (Or if it's too boring.) Not that life is unpleasant as such - goblins aren't known for wanton suicide. Death is just, you know, not a big deal.
Goblins are dungeon lemmings
It is assumed that when in a dungeon, the party has a mob of goblins travelling just one room back from them. When a PC dies, a new goblin steps forth from the ranks to take their belongings and their place.
I used Cairn 1e character gen - the tables for Character Traits give just enough juice to get a new little freak onto the table quickly, and 2e backgrounds are too much for this. New equipment is rerolled (provided from the mob) if the last goblin's gear is destroyed.
Lucky Deaths
In addition, each goblin has a Lucky Death that ensures a fruitful afterlife and bolsters the success of the rest of the mob. Should they attain their lucky death, the rest of the party gains d6 HP.
GOBLIN LUCKY DEATHS
| D30 | Death | D20 | Cause |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Axed | 1 | By a terrible beast |
| 2 | Blended | 2 | By a noble steed |
| 3 | Burned | 3 | By a gallant hero |
| 4 | Catapulted | 4 | By a skulking villain |
| 5 | Clawed | 5 | By a dastardly mechanism |
| 6 | Clubbed | 6 | By an accidental slip |
| 7 | Crushed | 7 | By royal decree |
| 8 | Decapitated | 8 | Selflessly |
| 9 | Drowned | 9 | Selfishly |
| 10 | Eaten | 10 | By a pack of dogs |
| 11 | Electrocuted | 11 | At home |
| 12 | Expired (from old age) | 12 | Somewhere far from home |
| 13 | Exploded | 13 | Penuriously |
| 14 | Fell | 14 | With pockets full of treasure |
| 15 | Froze | 15 | Under the ocean |
| 16 | Succumbed to illness | 16 | In the sky |
| 17 | Killed by Sword | 17 | By a plant |
| 18 | Knifed | 18 | Behind a veil |
| 19 | Poisoned | 19 | In flagrante |
| 20 | Pulverized | 20 | By a god |
| 21 | Shot | ||
| 22 | Spaghettified | ||
| 23 | Speared | ||
| 24 | Spiked | ||
| 25 | Strangled | ||
| 26 | Struck | ||
| 27 | Stoned | ||
| 28 | Torn Apart | ||
| 29 | Vaporized | ||
| 30 | WILL TO LIVE |
Reflections
Playing as goblins was a bit distracting at times - players got side-tracked by shenanigans over exploring - but there was still a general push to see what the dungeon had to offer. Several players had come from a 5e background, I think the setup gave them permission to experiment in a lethal system.
Obviously high lethality is defanged if it doesn’t “matter”. It was a good way to see what the dungeon had to offer, and the players got attached enough to their goblins that they didn’t take the piss too egregiously.
We didn't make it off the first floor, but the session was a good time. We rolled dice. We had beer and pretzels. Would play again.