A Leak in the Hole Factory, Pt. 1
The hole factory is spewing out stock and nobody is brave enough to fix it! Already runoff is collecting downriver and making an impromptu cave complex.
Holes are like magnets - you have to take care in storing them, or else they all jump together and create a big problem. The difference is - if enough holes agglomerate they will eventually form a BLACK HOLE, which is bad news for everybody who likes living on this side of reality.
Hallam Holloway, the proprietor of Hal's Holes has put out a bounty for brave adventurers to come and plug the leak. He has promised a pick of his premium Top Shelf stock to anyone who can help (no chance of malfunction on repeated use).
Hal's Holes
Bespoke Holes
We put the best in bespoke! All our holes come packaged in a waterproof sleeve. Holes can all be removed once applied to a surface. Not recommended for repeated use - malfunction may ensue.
- Regular hole. Available in sizes from Small (pencil size) to X. Large (sofa size). Cannot install in living beings.
- Aetheric hole. Works on living beings - you can put your arm straight through someone's chest without them missing a (heart)beat The missing plug of flesh doesn't bleed - it still exists, somewhere.
- Pliant hole. Edges are soft and giving, perhaps even a little moist. Bestseller.
- Hole with a rope coming out. Deploy in the air and climb right in. Popular with street magicians.
- Bullet hole. Comes packaged with bullet.
- Prosthetic hole (nostril & ear). For those who have lost theirs. Available in various sizes and hirsutenesses.
- Pocket hole. Beloved of thieves. Just don't put in the same pocket as your keys.
- Air hole. Handy if your ocarina just can't hit that high note, if you overinflated your balloon, or if you want to see through a watertight container. Only air can go in or out.
- One-sided hole. (Lets out somewhere else).
- Plot hole. Deploy liberally in this blogpost.
Hole Malfunctions
1-in-6 chance of any hole malfunctioning if used multiple times.
- Hole is the wrong size: 1) So tiny! 2) Cramped 3) Oops, that's a bit big 4) MONSTER HOLE
- Inverse hole - you have created an extrusion of rubbery matter instead of a hole.
- The hole is already full, and spews: 1) Furniture 2) Honey 3) Bees! 4) Lava
- The hole births 1d4 baby holes that grow to the same size as the adult within 5 minutes.
- The hole is alive... it scoots around whatever surface it's on, trying to avoid anything going inside it.
- The hole is alive... and it's HUNGRY.
Encounters
In each room, roll for 2 random Malfunctioning Bespoke Holes.
Entrance
Entrance to the Showroom through a hole in the concrete wall. This hole is feeling shy and tries its best to flee from the party within the bounds of the wall. If backed into a corner it shivers and attempts to skitter away. Kind words will help it calm down. If caught it may be held in place by a contest of force.
Showroom Floor
Bedlam. Holes are everywhere. Most may be traipsed around with care. A small incipient black hole in one corner occasionally sucks loose objects into itself, clattering across the room as they go. Loiterers must dodge to avoid a clobbering.
Saskervoy Topse, floor manager
Cowering beneath a desk, and bravely trying to make the best of it, and desperately try to hawk product - "A house with a hole is a home." Will be pleased to describe the function of any floor stock. If pressed, admits that the true hole is in his finances - he needs just one more sale to make his bonus. If the party purchases a hole, he will offer keys to the Offices.
Manufactory
A huge machine sits in the centre of the room. Power has clearly been disconnected, but the machine thrums and vibrates with operation.
A conveyor belt feeds packaged holes out from the machine beneath a sign labelled OUTPUT. The belt travels through a hatch labelled SHIPPING. A lever can redirect the belt towards HOLE STORAGE, from which room a terrible sound emanates.
A hopper labelled INPUT feeds into the machine. Sitting in the hopper are all sorts of holey goods - swiss cheese, pickleballs, motheaten jumpers, browned teeth, colanders, crucifixes, corals. Amongst all this crap is a Menger Sponge, slowly rotating in an otherworldly fashion - the machine seems to be sucking some form of energy from this.
Beside the INPUT hopper is a bin labelled REFUSE. Examples of each object from the hopper are in here, now devoid of holes.
Touching the Menger Sponge prompts the demon Hadrisax Votense to leap out from a shadow.
Shipping
The conveyor belt from Manufactory leads through a hatch in the wall and drops holes directly into the river here, where they float away downstream. The door from Manufactory leads onto a pier, from which it is possible to see a recently sunken cargo boat, pierced with a thousand holes.